He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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