Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
