Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
