I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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