He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
