I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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