Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
