Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
