mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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