I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
