I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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