i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
