isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
