it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
