I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
