it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
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