I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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