miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
