Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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