soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
3 2 1 whiskey
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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