I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
