I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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