i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
