so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
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