Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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