Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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