i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
