I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
