somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
