dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
they need to just BURY HIM!
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
