and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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