I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
