just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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