she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The struggles of a small town man whore
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
