just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
