he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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