Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I came so hard my ears popped.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
