I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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