I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
home. puking in laundry basket.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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