Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
