I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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