Me too!
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
