i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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