your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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