kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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