i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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