I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
