my phone needs a breathalizer
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
