When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
