You really coming over, don't trick.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
